This healing spring
Spring is always a season that moves me to wonder and praise, this year more than most. I watch the world burst with joy and beauty as God brings delicate, abundant life to branches that appeared to be dead — riots of diaphanous pink cherry blossoms, bright yellow forsythia, delicate redbuds. I look at these and my heart dances to see the joy of creation (and God’s joy in his creation) on display in this annual resurrection — life from death.
I watched this year and felt like my own body was going through the same thing, like God was bringing life and healing to my body which has been so damaged. There’s unspeakable joy in this for me as I have seen God healing me over these weeks and months, as my hope grows for what may come. I can’t put it into words.
If you’ve followed my writing or my various blogs over the years, you know I’ve been sick for a long time. Thirteen years, actually. (I last blogged about it here.) I first got sick on Labor Day weekend of 2000. I finally got diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease in March of 2006 and began what became a seven-year journey toward healing.
The unremitting fatigue (my main symptom) has impeded my work and suffocated so much of what could have been. For long stretches — months, years — I was left incapable of anything meaningful, of anything other than sleeping or watching TV. When I’ve dropped out of writing or blogging for long stretches, that’s been why.
I always knew that God was capable of healing me, and often prayed specifically for miraculous healing. When Jesus didn’t appear so that I could touch his robes and be healed, when I saw no miracles, I concluded that God was healing me through my doctor’s treatments, and tried to be as faithful as I could to what was an incredibly rigorous regimen (which I hope to blog about later). Years of antibiotics, both oral and IV, hundreds of supplements, detoxing, restricted diets, three and a half years worth of supplemental weekly IV treatments — a long, long road.
And now I’m gaining strength in ways that feel miraculous. I’ve been able to cut back or cut out many of my medications. My mind is so much more functional. I’m making to-do lists and it feels like Christmas. Being able to plan things I want to do with some hope of actually doing them — this is unspeakably good.
My healing journey isn’t over. I’ve learned not to presume upon the future, but I’m so thankful for what I’m seeing every day, and so hopeful for what may come. Thanks for sharing my joy!
Praise God, Lori, for His healing touch on you. It was nice to hear from you again.
Bev
Thanks, Beverley! I apologize, I think I have at least one unanswered email from you. I’ve had such a hard time with email. Hope you are well!
It is nice to know that you are getting better. It is always a pleasure to see you and to read what you write.
Thanks, John!
You are very graciously welcome. I pray that you get far better than well.
Lori, I’m so glad to hear that you’re gaining strength. How exciting that you feel able to make plans. I hope you’ll enjoy good health so you’ll be able to do the things you want to do. I’ll be thinking of you. Happy Spring!
Thanks for sharing my joy, Sarah! I hope you and yours are well.
So happy for you, Lori. I can’t imagine the struggle with chronic illness. Hope you continue to get well!
Thanks, Diane!
Lori: I am so so happy for you. I rejoice with you and thank God for this wondrous gift. May you continue to know a little more strength with each new day. Love to you~
Thanks so much, Crysta! Sending my love to you, too, and my prayers for your healing journey. xo
Lori, I’m so glad to hear of you being able to see progress in your healing. Gaining back some of the abilities we all take for granted must be so precious. I rejoice with you in the Lord, too! I’m still in the rigors of treatment and cannot predict when I’ll be able to have abilities return and what abilities will always be affected. Your story was so encouraging to read. I, too, Lord willing, will be able to write about things I am gaining back. I’ve found that having a thankful heart instead of a grumbling one has helped me from falling into the pity party pit. Life with Lyme Disease is not a walk in the park by any means, but I have to say that God has taught me so much about Himself and my life in His that it has been worth it. Not that I want to repeat it! But I have definitely grown in ways I couldn’t have imagined. Blessings on you and thank you for sharing and letting us rejoice with you!
Karen, I know what you mean about the rigors of treatment and I’m so sorry that’s where you are. I hope you see some bright days in the midst of all this. Yes, I learned so much through this, too — not that I would wish it on anyone, but it hasn’t been without value. Someday we’ll be able to get together and compare notes on treatment!
Very happy to see your e-mail today! Delighted that you are feeling better!
Thanks, Vicki!